This might be a testament to just how infrequently I update tools on my workstation that are functioning as expected - but I've just noticed for the first time that running commands such as
git branch will load the results in a pager (less in my case). Granted, now I don't remember the original functionality, but I think it would just page to STDOUT. And damnit, that's exactly what I want.
Luckily the internet agrees, and stack overflow has the answers (no surprise there). For my own sake, I'm documenting the change here for reference - it amounts to running this:
git config --global pager.branch false
Simple enough - and I've only noticed this behavior with the
branch sub-command for now but if it should affect multiple commands I'll surely be looking for the all-encompassing method of turning this off.